Those of you who know me personally have my permission to skip this paragraph, as I'm sure you already understand how I operate (plus I'm really not one to sing my own praises, so I'll make this quick). I am probably one of the most level-headed, forgiving, accepting, and understanding people that you will ever meet (who is not either in a coma or dead, and as of 9:00 AM this morning I do, in fact, still have a pulse). I hardly ever hold a grudge, I don't often get jealous, I am incredibly patient, and there are very few things that truly upset me.
In general, over the past few years, this has worked in my favor. Whether it be a problem at work, a misunderstanding with friends, or any variety of other conflict, I come at the issue with a different approach than most and it serves me very well. Often times, people come to me for a favor, to vent some frustrations, or just to talk to someone outside a certain situation, and the majority of the time I honestly don't mind...there's not much I wouldn't do for a friend. BUT looking back, there have been a handful of people who have taken serious advantage of this, and of me. To be frank, I've put up with a lot of shit. I've listened quietly, nodded my head, kept my mouth closed, and overlooked the faults and mistakes of some people that I should have never bothered with in the first place. I've been manipulated, I've been fooled, and I've been hurt, but who hasn't? Yes, I know this is something that everyone deals with to some degree, but if my whole mission in starting this blog was to improve myself, grow as a human being, and hopefully inspire you to do the same, why not start a conversation here? I get pretty pissed off when I realize I've been taken advantage of, and I'm sure you do too. So why do we keep doing it? Where does a person draw the line? How much do you tolerate? It turns out that tolerance is a very interesting word...
Tolerance
-noun
[täl(ə)rəns]
1. A fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry
2. The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with -the tolerance of corruption -an advocate of religious tolerance
The first definition sounds great. No one should be subject to bigotry, but I look at the second definition and ask myself why I should tolerate behavior that I don't agree with. Cultural practices different than my own? Sure. Different religious behaviors? Absolutely. But why keep a "permissive attitude" to corruption, destruction, or actions that both directly and negatively affect me and countless others? In those situations, tolerance doesn't help anything. Tolerance like that only serves to pour fuel onto the metaphorical fire. So in answer, this is where I draw the line.
Will I still be the same open and accepting Eric that no person should hesitate to come to? Yes, without a doubt. But I am done sitting idly by while those same people hurt me, those around them, and themselves. With any luck, I'll be a better person for it.
Until next time,
Eric Hawkins
Modern Man of Mystery (in Making)
We had a saying among my atheist friends: "I respect your religious beliefs like I respect your opinion that your girlfriend is attractive."
ReplyDeleteBigotry is not an attractive feature, but it gets thrown around too much. It applies when intolerance is intolerable. But who decides that? Is it okay for China to kill female children, so long as the practice is confined to within Chinese borders? A philosopher or anthropologist who justifies gendercide, racism, female circumcision, etc. with arguments of ethnocentric morality is as amoral as the perpetrators of these atrocities themselves. Tolerance is overrated.